May 2010
4 posts
Rejection and disappointment list
Let we list it all:
Rejected in high school when confide the love feeling at her home. I can understand that I’m no-one compare to her,
After 4 years, she comes to my life and I try to say my feeling but rejected again because she is traumatic of her previous romance. May be I come to her life at the wrong time,
She is falling in love with her office-mate. She is dumping me,
After 6-8...
Dear Pa,
Assalamu’alaikum Pa,
Kau mengingatkanku untuk memberi sedikit ruang pada kesabaran, Kau meyakinkanku saat kau mengalungkan tanganmu pada pundakku, Kau mempercayakanku untuk bisa menjalankannya, Maafkan aku yang gagal menjalankan amanahmu.
Aku tak pernah bertemu denganmu, Aku tak pernah berbicara denganmu, Aku tak pernah mencium baumu, Tapi aku seolah nyata merasa kehangatanmu di depanku.
...
Premonition.
Saya: Selamat ya atas pernikahan kamu.. Maaf tadi aku ngelantur di telpon, ternyata cerita aku jauh berbeda dgn cerita bahagia kamu :)
Kalau ada calon buat aku, aku siap apapun resikonya.
Teman: Dari awal aku sdh ngasih clue ke kamu, cuman kmu ga nangkap bola dari aku. Cintamu terlalu tinggi, jadi ga mungkin aku menjatuhkan semangat kamu. Memang dia seperti itu, hanya pasrah & memanfaatkan keadaan, itu terlihat saat aku "memaksa" dia melakukan PDKT terhadap ortunya untuk meminta kamu masuk jadi bagian keluarga.
Saya: Emang kamu pernah bantu ngeyakinin dia? ak pengen cerita detailnya..pls
Teman: Ga pernah, aku cuma lewat gaib..percaya ga percaya, aku sudah berkomunikasi langsung dgn dalemnya dia, tapi hasilnya nihil. Sulit menjelaskannya..
Saya: Okay..thanx ya. Menurut kamu skarang dia udah berubah atau belum? apa yang dia cari sebenarnya? gw kasiyan karna dia ga ngehargain diri dia sendiri
Teman: Jangan terbawa emosi,..itu semua perjalanan manusia. jadikan pelajaran saja...mudah2an Alloh memberi cahaya ke dia. Sekarang lebih baik fokus ke diri sendiri...
Sedikit mengingat kan saja, Tujuan hidup untuk apa? Untuk mbina keluarga doank??,kan nggak itu toh?...cuma emang itu salah satu kenikmatan dari-NYA.
tolong rubah mindset awal,tujuan hanya berfokus pd Allah sang maha pencipta dan maha pencemburu,,jd kan cintamu seratus persen hanya untukNYA,,insya Allah jodoh,rejeki semuanya DIA yg atur..ingat lah ky...DIA itu dekat...sangat dekat bahkan lebih dekat dr urat nadi mu sndiri.
Teman: Ini bukan semata-mata teori belaka..kalo sdh merasakan dahsyat nya kekuatan CINTA dgn khalik,apapun didepan kamu ky,kamu dak akan tergoda,,ya..sedikit2 itu pasti ada,karena kita memang manusia,tp tolong tdk terhanyut. Apa lg masalah sepele,hanya satu wanita,yg jelas2 sdh dilihat dan dibukakan oleh allah,siapa dia sbnrnya,apa kelebihan dia? Dan ternyata ga ada wahhh nya sama sekali,lantas apa lg yg kamu cari???? Bukan kah kamu prnah tau dan prnah bilang di status di Fesbuk..surah Ar-rahman toh? Lalu apa aplikasinya???? :)
Saya: Aku cuma kasihan sama dia. jgna sampe dia mencari cinta dgn cara berbuat yang engga2. walopun sebenci2nya aku dgn dia...ak tetap pengen dia nyadar
Teman: Denger kawan..tunda dulu kebaikan mu.aku tau kebaikan mu masih berujung pd kepentingan dan berselimutkan nafsu.kita ini akan dipanggil menghadapNYA itu tidak rame-rame,tdk berbondong-bondong,,tapi datang sendiri-sendiri.jd saran paling utama dari aku,tolong cari lah jati dirimu sendiri dulu..
Saya: ada rasa dendam juga..ak gak rela dsakitin cewe yg aku sayang
Teman: Itu lah yg dikatakan nafsu. Amarah,dendam dan sbgainya bagian dr pada nafsu. Hanya bersama NYA itu semua akan hilang
Saya: trus gimana menghilangkannya..aku rajin Yasinan..aku rajin sholat malam...ak rajin nangis di doa...apa kurang?
Teman: PERCUMA. Sekarang aku tanya boleh? kamu yasin,nangis,sholat mlm untuk apa?
Saya: untuk kebahagiaan aku dan dia
Teman: Sebegitu yakin nya kamu kalo itu semua berhasil?
Saya: itu cara yg aku tau
Teman: sekarang yg kamu tau seperti itu dan kamu melakukan semua itu,minta sama siapa? Tuhan kan?
Saya: Iya..kepada siapa lagi aku harus mengadu?
Teman: Memang kamu kenal sama TUHAN, bro..
Saya: mungkin aku kurang mengenal dia...cma itu cara yg aku tau utk berkomunikasi ke dia
Teman: hla..kamu kurang mengenal dia..trus sebegitu yakinnya doa dikabulkan? Dan mengenal DIA bukan dinilai dr seberapa sering kamu nangis,sholat mlm dsbgainya.
Lalu timbul pertanyaan kan...bagaimana mengenal Dia? Pernah dger hadis KENALILAH DIRIMU MAKA kamu AKAN MENGENAL TUHAN MU
Kalo sudah tau jawaban itu...insya allah apa pun akan berhasil
Saya: iya...aku salah dan pengen belajar memperbaikiki
Teman: Bagus...itulah sebenarnya yg dinamakan husnul hotimah...Meninggal dlm keadaan kita sdh mengenal TUHAN...Berarti dia selamat
Nanti aku bimbing kamu...
Saya: Iya, tolong bantu aku...
Teman: sabar..sabr..aku mau ke pasar dulu, mau masak...nanti kita sambung lagi ya..
Saya: AKu juga mau olahraga..
makasih ya
cinta tak harus memiliki
Ini cerita kita..
yang menyadarkanku bahwa cinta itu ada. yang membuatku berani menulis kisah dengan tinta emas di seutas benang yang tipis. dengan angan akan menjadi kain persembahan di kayangan. Malam demi malam kita rajut dengan canda. Siang demi siang kita lanjutkan dengan karya. aku mencintaimu karena karya canda kita begitu menggema. Ada keluh yang sering kulontarkan. ada marah...
April 2010
1 post
8 tahun untuk 8 bulan
Rasanya terlalu sayang jika cerita ini disimpan begitu saja. Saya memutuskan untuk berbagi, mungkin sebagai pengingat diri sendiri agar tetap istiqomah mencari atau nanti diceritakan kepada anak-anak seperti salah satu episode dalam serial “How I met your Mother”. Mohon maaf jika terlalu banyak drama di dalamnya, saya berusaha menjadi seoarang cerpenis biar cerita ini tak lekang oleh waktu. Pada...
February 2010
2 posts
My daily dose of ...
Everytime I feel blue, I read this…It’s pain, but makes me stronger.
I realize that how much you fight for love, it just can’t be pushed if he/she doesn’t want to work it out together.
—————————-
to my dearest one..
uhuyy.. dah lama ga ngobrol sama kamu “dengan benar”, kemaren saya merasa senang sekali....
..the (real) decision
What if you know something before it’s going to happen? I’m going to close my eyes and just imagine what I want to imagine.
I don’t care what lies behind as long as I can feel the dream.
——————-
Date: 2009/9/26
Hari ini seharusnya aku memutuskan sesuatu, yang sangat mempengaruhi masa depanku. Sayangnya, aku belum berani memutuskan. 12 hari...
October 2009
1 post
the decision
Truly,
I don’t know what I feel. Don’t know what I want.
But I can’t find exact reason to say No.
So, Why I shouldn’t say yes?
-eneng-
September 2009
5 posts
.decision
Whatever your decision, all I wanna say is I Love You.
I love you the way you were, the way you are, and the way you’ll be.
I can give reasons why I want you, how much I love you and how we can make this works. Or I can give you reasons why you should take ‘No’ as an aswer because of I’m not good enough for you.
But, I don’t want to do that. Let your decision based...
Love, not hate.
Kita pernah saling mencinta dan menyayangi Kita pernah saling berbagi dan berjanji Kita pernah saling memuja dan mengagumi Jika memang sudah tidak ada lagi kecocokan diantara kita, Tak usahlah menebar marah dan benci Tak usahlah saling menyalahkan dan menjatuhkan Tak usahlah saling egois dan dengki Mari kita belajar dari kesalahan Mari kita membuka lembaran baru ‘tuk diri pribadi Mari kita...
fading away
If I can make you to love me, I can (try) to make you hate not to love me anymore, as you wish.
Will do everything to make you happy, as promised.
August 2009
5 posts
Menyerah
Kemarin adalah hari yang tidak pernah aku prediksi sebelumnya. Akhirnya aku dan dia menyerah.
Sebelumnya aku masih berfikir aku dan dia masih punya banyak waktu untuk membagi tawa ataupun tangis. Namun, semuanya berakhir.
Bukan aku atau dia yang bisa disalahkan. Hanya kondisi yang membuat kami tidak bisa bersama, setidaknya untuk saat ini.
Aku mencintainya, dan penyesalan itu selalu datang...
surat buat abang dari eneng
abang…
hari ini abang ga kayak biasa, ga cerewet trus ga bawel. kadang2 eneng suka ngeluh kalo abang cerewet, tapi kalo abang diem eneng kangen.
abang capek ya kegiatannya kebanyakan? yang semangat yak bang, kan demi masa depan kita„, eh masa depan abang maksudnya. hehhe…
abang yang ganteng, dah lama yah kita gak ketemu. kangen makan bareng abang, jalan2 trus crita2 sama...
dead air
there is always a time when the dead air happens.
when i don’t know what to say to you.
but it doesn’t mean i don’t love you.
it just a time when i’m loosing words cause i love you really.
-eneng-
“I love you, not only for what you are,
but for what I am when I am with you.
...”
– http://thinkexist.com/quotation/i_love_you_not_because_of_who_you_are-but_because/343886.html
July 2009
13 posts
Something good in the world
Sam: It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.
(replace Sam as Me, replace Frodo as I, and replace some good with You)
-abang-
Love isn’t about the romantic nights or gifts. It isn’t about fireworks going off around you when you have that first real kiss. Love isn’t about kissing in the rain and dancing beneath the stars. It isn’t about the big moments or the big surprises. Love is not a fairytale. Love is about still having the butterflies after years. It’s about the second looks and laying in bed wide awake, all night,...
did great
Babe..
You did great this mornin’
thank you :)
-eneng-
When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride,...
June 2009
35 posts
love isn't about win or loose
Just read your email, though I’m the one who asking you to go, but it still feel hurt.
What I want you to know is love isn’t about win or loose babe.
I don’t want to make you feel win cause you are making other such a loser.
I want you feel win cause the love I give to you.
Please, stay there.
I let you to see that I really love you.
And the love isn’t about choosing you...
Watching you from a safe distance
Have I said that I would disappear from your life? I lied.
I will watch you from a safe distance. Not to make sure that you are fine, because I know you will. I’m standing there to prepare if you need someone when you’re tired.
If you doubt my unconditional love, it’s okay. I still love you anyway, even when you doubt it.
If I push you too hard, I’m sorry. Really sorry. I prefer this way so he...
“Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of...”
– himandher
“I’m here not because I am supposed to be here, or because I’m trapped here, but...”
– Richard Bach (The Bridge Across Forever: A True Love Story)
-abang-
“Love that is not madness is not love.”
– Pedro Calderon de la Barca
Things to do... with YOU!
Here are a few things I wish to do with YOU at some point in this lifetimes:
Be your best friend.
Get caught with you in the rain.
Spend all day with you doing nothing.
Watch the sunset together
dance with you in the rain.
moonlit walks on the beach
go on a carriage ride through central park.
feel your heartbeat
discuss current events in a heated debate
give you space when you...
who said i don't care
hmm, after thinking alot, unfortunately what i really want is not only you.
I do not care what car you drive, where you live.
If your clothes are this years cutting edge… i care
And so on.
Who said I don’t care„ I care, really care.
cause i wanna make sure that you live in carefull, safe and comfort.
that’s why i do really care about the words flutter from your...
“I don’t need, from you, a waterfall of careless praise, and I don’t need a...”
– (via beautifulordinaire)
“If the answer is no, can I change your mind?”
How to make it simple:
I love her, and she knew.
She love me, and I can feel it.
I want to spend the rest of my life with her, so does her.
She wants sail the sea in my boat, so do I.
but, things get complicated…
She is afraid to see me,
I’m not ready yet to escort her,
and yet we’re still afraid to make a commitment.
and now,
I don’t want to start a...
“I don’t care how many fish there are in the sea. I don’t want a fish. I want...”
you said to me..
I really want to escort you..
But I still don’t have a horse to ride with you…
I still don’t have a hut to protect you from the rain..
not a horse or hut that i need„
what i need is you, only you to escort me..
-eneng-
“Everytime I hear incoming mail sound notification, I wish it was you.”
– abang
My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
Guess this means you’re sorry
You’re standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
What you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you’d never come back
But here you are again
Cuz we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye...